He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
