Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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