Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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