I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
