Sponge bath it is.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
