I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
