Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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