Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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