Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
