Small penises have feelings too.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The air was thick with penises
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
