Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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