i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
