just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
