I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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