I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Send help, water and tortillas.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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