Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
