just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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