I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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