he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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