Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
