I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
