I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hippo gnu deer
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
