do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
