just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
