I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
