We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
