Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
