good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
