Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
