bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
should my penis look like a turkey
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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