Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
