I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
