so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
