Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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