i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
