You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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