This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
