my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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