I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
