This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
