someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
