I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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