Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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