dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
