Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
