people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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