i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
