I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
