: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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