Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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