Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
